Ok my newlywed/young married friends. Have you ever had the moment when you look in the mirror and you realize that you're a grown up and you don't remember when/how that happened?
I've had those a lot lately. Especially when life get's crazy.
I guess while through my engagement I prepared myself for some of the grown up things. Like housework and paying bills and wifey things. But there is definitely stuff I didn't prepare myself for. Stuff that is now causing me to figure out how to stretch this new married life that I have.
I didn't prepare myself for the expectation that are now on me from other people that are now in my life and even those that have always been. Its something no one probably could have ever warned me about or even if they did. I probably wouldn't have paid attention. It's something you either think about and prepare your self for or (you're like me) and you don't think about it and now you have to.
I don't like to make excuses for myself. I really don't. But I also try not to be hard on myself either because it makes it harder. There are moments when I freak out and my anxiety kick's in and I think to myself
"I am 20 years old, I don't have everything in my life together, I'm not perfect, why do people expect me to be that way just because I'm married"
I think there is this expectation on newlyweds in general that you should know what to do and how to be a grown up right off that bat. When in all reality I am still trying to figure out my life. My husband and I are still trying to figure out our lives. We've been married 3 months and we are still not certain where God has us to go. Its a journey and not a fast one. No matter how much your parent teaches you about life and prepares you for marriage you are never going to be fully prepared. Never.
And as much as you don't want to let your parents down and you want them to see they've raised this amazing child, sometimes (especially when you are no longer under their roof) you do let them down and it sucks but you are in a new situation (like marriage) and you just have to find your footing, know what is right, and look to your Heavenly Father.
All of this is part of being a grownup I never took into account fully and there is probably will still be more to come.
I think that transition of being on your own or getting married is probably one of the hardest things for a young women. I know it has been for me. Finding my own and taking what my parents have taught me and putting it into my new life with my husband. I know there are many more young women that feel the same way.
You might not agree with what I said or maybe feel like I'm contradicting myself or maybe you think I am speaking the truth. But one big life lesson I'm learning from my God and even from my husband (who learned this before me) is that you are not going to be able to please everyone, you are going the let people down. You just have to let it go. Learn from what you let people down on. And move one. Know who you are in Christ and learn.