I have a lot of friends nowadays that are either engaged or wanting/close to engagement. I really love sharing my advice with others around my age. I know during my engagement I got a lot of advice from people but it was the advice of those around my age that I seemed to agree on or cherished the most.
I am always up for sharing advice when asked. Especially if its something I care about or have had experience in. So, the other day while I was driving I felt very led to share some advice with you readers about pre-wedding experience. Maybe there is some girl out there about to pull her hair out that needs some advice ;)
Think before the ring:
Things with my husband and I moved PRETTY quickly while we were dating. Our whole relationship felt super right right of the bat and we both felt we were the one's God had planned for each other RIGHT away. Hence why 3 months into dating we were engaged.
HOWEVER, since we moved so fast we did make sure we took time on dates and together time to talk about our plans past engagement. I say we did this about 2.5 months into the dating period. How long we wanted to be engaged, when we would like a wedding, school, life, and everything in between.
So RELLLY talk to your significant other and try to roughly plan things out. Granted, there are somethings you just can't plan for. But, it will make it easier if you have a plan.
Now if you aren't dating as short as we did, you could hold off talking about these things, but don't forget to. Being lovely dovey with each other is great, but you need to communicate with each other too.
Give yourself plenty of time:
I see couples getting married within like 3 months of engagement and I can't imagine doing that. And doing that to my parents I might add. We got married 9 months after getting engaged. I think between 8-10months minimum is a great time frame. Granted if you could/need to wait longer that would be great too.
Don't overdo pinterest:
Don't get me wrong. I love pinterest. But it overwhelmed me sometimes while wedding planning. I had to eventually declutter my Wedding Bored and focus on what I really needed/wanted.
Don't rely on it too much, grab simple ideas and build of of them.
Dress shopping minus expectations:
When dress shopping have a very open mind with no expectations. I had a few ideas for a dress but some of those ended up not panning out. So don't get stressed or tired when you can't find something or what you thought you'd like looks horrible on you. It happens to everyone. I thought I was going to get something with some type of sleeve. Turns out sleeves made me hot and itchy like a crazy person. So, always go in with an idea but an open mind.
Never not consider and elopement :
Now don't get me wrong. I LOVED my wedding, had an amazing time, and I would probably do it over again. Even so, I just didn't figure that my anxiety and panic attacks would go through the roof during the planning period. Looking back I maybe should have contemplated an elopement (my parents even suggested it). So, if you are like me and battle with anxiety and panic attacks. It might not be a bad idea to consider it. You can always still have a big party when you get back ;)
Hold your ground:
YOU WILL have family members that try to suggest things you don't want. Do not cave. The only input you should consider is your parents seeing that they are paying for the wedding. That is it. End of story.
Don't do anything:
When getting ready for wedding day set up a group of friends, even if they aren't in the wedding party, to come help you set up. I had bridemaids, grandparents, friends, friends of my mothers, and groomsmen helping us set up on the wedding day. Meaning, I had to do NOTHING. Which is AMAZING. I highly suggest giving everyone something to do so you have nothing to do but relax and get ready.
Now, I said before I really cherished advice from those my age, but I also cherished advice from those beyond my years who have "been there done that". My husband and I got to have lunch/dinner a couple of times with a wonderful older couple in our church. Their advice still sticks with us to this day. I also appreciated advice from my "boss" who had a similar engagement story. She is only about 10 years older than me and she and her husband dated 3 months and were engaged for 9months. I started working for them 3 months before the wedding and she was always there to hear my plans and answer questions I had. She still answers my questions to this day lol!
But bottom line, seek out the kind of advice you need and want. Pray and ask God to bring those people into your life.
Now, I actually want to write another post about this soon. I saved myself for marriage (yes I know very "Duggarish" of me ;) ) . There are things I wish I did before the wedding day that would have made things easier for me in the long run and there are also things I did that I am glad I did before hand. Without giving to much information, I do want to share somethings in a future post. I know it was hard for me to find advice on certain items and subjects coming from a "saving myself" point of view.
So stay tuned!
Hope this advice helps somebody out there in the internet world! I know everybody's opinions and ideas are different so I don't expect everyone to agree.
If you have any questions PLEASE feel free to leave comments or contact me on social media. I didn't want to make this page like a book so I left out some other advice that I have stored up.